Lady of the Things
by Meriboat Brandyondarocks
Summary: A parody of Lord of the Rings written by two mildly insane teenagers high on chocolate.


Chapter One  
  
Brotme's Party  
  
Sara V. and Meriboat Brandiondarocks  
  
Disclaimer: we do not own these characters or their personalities. The charactors are of J.R.R. Tolkien's mind we just twisted them a little.  
  
Authors' Note: Grandalf is exactly how it says in the first sentence (Gay). I think that would be a mild slash but I'm not very sure about that. Hopefully, this will not offend any one. It is meant to be a joke. There will be more of these (I think) hopefully it will get funnier. Anyway R&R. Flames will be ignored since they cannot measure up to the heat of Mount Doom.  
  
Chapter One  
  
The morning of September the 22nd began as a normal birthday (for a mobblit). That is until Grandalf the Gay showed up. The little mobblits followed the cart up to Inabag End. Then, somewhat disappointed, they went away.  
  
Grandalf the Gay then used his staff (which had a triangular purple stone at the top) to knock at the door. A voice then shouted "Go away! I don't want any chicken!"  
  
"But I'm not a chicken, nor do I have any chickens, so how can I give you a chicken?!" Grandalf shouted, confusedly.  
  
"Well, go away anyway! I don't want to buy anything else for the party!" Yelled Brotme Inabagins.  
  
He was very busy.  
  
"Are you sure you don't want one more friend?" Asked Grandalf.  
  
"NO!" Then there was a pause. "Yes!" Then the door to the mobblit hole opened. "Grandalf! I was wondering when you would get here." (Brotme was slowly backing away from Grandalf, who was trying to hug him.)  
  
The party was in full swing when Brotme stood up to make his speech.  
  
"My dear relatives, I have invited you to this party today because I am turning 111 and my dear nephew Fromeout is turning 33. 111 years is too short of a time to live amongst you, but I am afraid that my time here is at an end. I will no longer be living in the Mire, Goodbye."  
  
He put his hands to his face. There was a flash and then Brotme Inabagins was gone. All the mobblits that were in attendance looked quite shocked at the fact that he had disappeared, all that is except for Fromeout.  
  
  
  
Brotme ran back to his home. When he reached it he took golden pacifier out of his mouth. "Ah 111 at last." He said.  
  
Grandalf was sitting in a chair by the fire. "So you're really leaving I take it?" He said standing up and walking over to Brotme.  
  
"Yes" Brotme said, "I want to get out of the Mire and Mobbliton. I want to see………What are you looking at me like that for?" While Brotme had been saying this Grandalf had been getting closer and had been giving Brotme his best come hither look."Uh...I better go before someone sees me. It would ruin all my plans."  
  
Brotme grabbed his stuff and put the golden pacifier on the mantle and ran out of the house. He had to get away before it was too late. He didn't want Fromeout to get home before he had the chance to leave(among other things).  
  
Grandalf sighed, disapointed again.  
  
Later on, after all the astonished guests had gone home, Fromeout had trudged back up to Inabag End. He knew that Brotme wouldn't be there when he got there. He had known that Brotme was planning to leave but he had hoped that it had only been a joke.  
  
When he entered Inabag End he wasn't surprised to see that Grandalf was there, though in fact, he wished that Grandalf wasn't there. As soon as Fromeout walked in Grandalf was striding toward him and trying to give him a hug.  
  
Fromeout managed to duck under Grandalf's arms and get past him to the living room. Grandalf followed him in and took note that Fromeout had found the golden pacifier and Brotme's letter. "Why in Middle-of-Nowhere did he leave me his golden pacifier?" Fromeout asked with a puzzled look on his face. "A gold ring would have been better!"  
  
"This pacifier has special powers. I just wish I knew what they were. Whatever you do, I know this, you mustn't use the pacifier." Grandalf said.  
  
"Well, okay, but I'm going to bed." He started to go and then paused,"And Grandalf? Don't pick the lock or anything, okay?" Fromeout said. He went into his room and promptly locked his door.  
  
Grandalf looked slightly bummed, but he went to his room and tried to sleep.  
  
*************************************************************  
  
To Fromeout's great relief Grandalf was gone in the morning.  
  
He took the golden pacifier out of his pocket and studied it. Somehow, he knew that this was not the end of the story. Grandalf would be back and things were sure to get interesting. Fromeout only hoped it would not be in the way Grandalf wanted.... 


End file.
